Questions To ask Yourself When Faced with Difficulty.

Everyone faces difficulties from time to time. It’s a natural
part of the cycle of life. Just like we can’t really know hot
without knowing cold, we can’t really know the good times if
we don’t know bad times. Sometimes the difficulties we face
in life come from situations out of our control, and other
times our difficulties are a direct consequence of the
decisions we make.
In life, we cannot change events or their outcome. We can,
however, choose the emotion and meaning we attach to
them. It’s like the saying goes “Life is 10% what happens to
you and 90% how you react”.
We have to retrain ourselves to see the positive in even the
most challenging times.
Questions To Ask Yourself To Stay Positive

1. Am I Still Breathing?

Sometimes the best we can do is breathe. During
overwhelmingly difficult times, our stress levels rise, our
breathing gets shallow, and our body’s natural rhythm gets
all out of tune. At these times it’s essential to stop and ask
yourself, ‘am I breathing?’. If you are then, hey, you live to
fight another day. If you find yourself highly stressed out,
take 10 minutes, find a quiet space, and just breathe deeply.

2. What Is My Part In This?

Notice this said your ‘part’, not your ‘fault’. There’s a huge
distinction in these two words. One is acknowledging and
accepting your responsibility for your current situation, the
other is self-defeating and simply assigns blame. Focusing
on your part instead of just casting blame reduces the
challenge you’re facing to a more manageable size.

3. What Is In My Control?

When life feels completely overwhelming, we often lose sight
of those things we can change. Assess your situation
honestly, and look for those things you can control. This will
help you to feel more centered, more focused, and assist
you in being able to tackle the challenge.

4. What Is Out Of My Control?

Sometimes there’s things we just cannot control. Whether
it’s other people, mother nature, or just plain bad timing, no
matter how much we want to, we cannot control everything.
Take time to look at your difficulty, identify the things that
are out of your control, and then let them go.

5. What Is My Emotional State?

Making decisions when we’re overcome with the emotions
that are inherent in difficult times is about the worst thing we
can do. We’re more likely to make poor choices when we’re
in the wrong emotional state. Being able to recognize that
we’re not ‘of our right mind’ in the middle of our trials allows
us to stop, breathe, and get ourselves in a better emotional
state, allowing us to make better decisions

6. What Is The Most Important Thing I Can Do Right Now?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is nothing. Sometimes
the best thing we can do is make a phone call. Focusing on
and doing the best thing you can do right now when in the
midst of difficult times helps center you and relax your
nervous system. Progress is progress, no matter how small,
and progress towards resolving a difficult situation will boost
your self-esteem.

7. What Can I Learn From This?

With every difficulty comes a lesson. As crazy as it sounds,
if we can see even the smallest lesson, the smallest purpose
in the trial we’re facing, it gives it positive value. Suffering
without purpose leads to a feeling of helplessness. Shift
your belief from “Why me?” to “What can I learn from this?”.
It will turn the challenge from just a random coincidence of
bad luck into a problem to be solved.
8. Am I Taking Care Of Myself?
There’s an abundance of evidence that stress wreaks havoc
on our physical health. There’s also abundant evidence that
our physical health directly impacts our mental health. When
challenges arise, the most common things we do are eat
less, sleep less, and get less physical activity. Overwhelming
challenges have a tendency to cause us to completely shut
down. Don’t. Maintain a normal sleep schedule. Eat healthy.
Stay hydrated. Get some physical activity.

9. What Are My Choices?

Make a list. Write them down. Weigh the pros and cons.
Creating a list of choices brings clarity to the path we need
to take to overcome the difficulty. It also helps us realize that
we actually have choices, which is a big thing when we feel
powerless.

10. Will This Matter 5 Years From Now?

Don’t sweat the small stuff… and really, 95% of our
difficulties are all small stuff. Looking into the future and
thinking about whether or not the current difficulty will
matter 5 years from now often brings it into perspective.
We’re naturally oriented to turn molehills into mountains and
imagine the worst possible outcome to every challenge.
What you are facing now isn’t as bad as you’re imagining it
to be.
Challenges and difficulties are a natural part of life. We can
stop from feeling overwhelmed by finding and focusing on
the positive in our lives.